will's insanity

The Ramblings of a Mad Man

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The Prayer after Election


so this election cycle sucked. The results are in. A man whose track record with the economy, race, gender, equality, and everything else are less than sub-par. There are to many people sad and angry however to react in such a way. Allow me then to offer a prayer for tonight and the next four years. If you are not the praying type, then focus and meditate on the meaning of these words and to find peace within yourself.

Now, as children of God, let us pray:

We come before you a broken and beaten children. We confess our failure to love our neighbor as ourselves, and we beg your forgiveness for our trespasses. Lord, as we continue into the years to come, allow us to remember that Your love is our guide. Keep us from harming each other with our actions, words, and Facebook posts. Guide us, and help us to be accepting of those we fear, to love our enemies as ourselves. Like 2nd Timothy says, for us to “Have nothing to do with stupid and senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness.” Help us to respond with kindness and understanding, to not succumb to the hatred and alienation of those different than us in political affiliation. Bring us peace in knowing that You keep us safe with you, and that your son Jesus Christ, died to bring us closer to Your love.

Give us the courage to use the Spirit within us to move and to speak out of clear conscience and reason. To motivate us beyond party lines to work with each other to help those who need it the most. Bring us peace as we move forward into the unknown, but comforted that we as a people of all backgrounds are guided by your everlasting peace and everlasting love.

We pray all of this in the name of Jesus Christ, in the manner he taught us to pray:
Our father,

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Lead us not into temptation

but deliever us from evil

For thine is the kingdom

The power

and the glory forever



Thoughts Pt. 1

To much hatred. To much pain. So much death. This is the reality we live in. To many times have we as a people failed to speak out against injustice and tyranny, racism and oppression, poverty and homelessness. This is not acceptable. I am making my voice heard, and want to do something.

Most of you know that I try to keep my personal opinions off of Facebook. I’ll share articles and comment every once in a while, but I have not had a rant on Facebook in recent memory. My banner picture says “Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence,” a quote by Argentinian author and poet Jorge Luis Borges. Well, I don’t know if this will improve the silence or just add to the noise, but I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut. My opinions are my own, and I hold to my right to have them.

On the issue of the sexual assault of the student by the swimmer: Seriously, what the hell. We can give a break to this person, let them get away with this and not give any justice to the victim?! Are we serious right now, because I don’t think we are. There is a lot of lip service on BOTH sides of the aisle right now about how we care for the victim or care about mental health, but sweet FA is being done about it, and the shit that should be done isn’t happening. such crap.

On the BLM movement: I stand behind this movement. I believe that their mission to root out the racism and bigotry that exists inside of some police forces is incredibly important. The men and women with these attitudes are examples of people who don’t need the power that being a cop comes with. Same goes for politicians with these attitudes, because hate does nothing but breed more violence.

On the Police forces of the United States: I believe that the majority of you are good people. You do your job, and the difficulty is something I do not doubt, and I fully support you in your occupation. You make the hardest decisions day in and day out, without a single doubt in my mind that you may regret some of those decisions, but that they were necessary to make. Thank you for protecting us as Americans at home.

On the above related issues: Both groups and the people that support them need to have meaningful conversations. Both groups need to be both internal and externally accountable to the other. Everybody needs to realize that tempers are a thing, and that they must be controlled. Violence is never the answer.

On the election: Yes, I do support some of the things that Bernie Sanders stood for. Yes, there is a “Birdie” sticker on my laptop. I do not, however, think he has any chance in hell at getting elected, even if you write him in (because that’s not how the election system works!) I do however agree with the statement that a vote not for Hillary is a vote for Drumpf. As much as it sucks, and as much as I respect your right to vote for whoever you want to, I really don’t want a racist, bigoted, misogynistic, bankrupt asshole who can’t keep his story straight as a president. You may not trust her, but at the moment, she’s your only choice. The libertarians have no way to win this election, and any independents that might be running probably won’t even show up on the ballot. We know who Hillary is. We know what she has done. But just because you don’t trust her (because, let’s be honest, who trusts the person they vote for) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t vote for her. She has the experience, the expertise, and the knowledge to do her job.

On the e-mail scandal: You know, what she did was wrong. The FBI, however, has recommended not prosecuting her. Why? Because the punishment is administrative, not criminal.  Yes, she sent some classified data over unsecured e-mails, meaning out of 30,000 emails, 110 were classified, and far fewer were top secret. let’s be generous and assume that 1/4 of the 110 were top secret. 27. 27 out of 30,000 emails. .001%. good Lord above, let’s not make this bigger than it is.

The Hidden Secret

Depression isn’t always obvious

So before you begin reading this article, please go watch the video. I know it’s a bunch of click-bait bullshit, but it’s definitely worth the watch.

Are you back? Good.

So as I was supposed to be doing a paper and failing miserably at it, I began scrolling through facebook, wondering what sort of ridiculous posts I would find. Then I came across this video, noticed it was from the buzzfeed page, and immediately was like “Well, here goes auto-play facebook.” So I watched it because, you know, procrastination. As by now I hope you’re sure by now, it starts out basically how all videos of this nature start out, with some dopey looking dude just kind of going through the motions.

But then, at the very end, shit hits the fan, and this has now become my new favorite video to show friends what depression looks like. Honestly, if you’re just reading this and not watching the video, PLEASE go watch it, because from now on, SPOILERS!

So anyone who knows me semi-well knows I don’t put up with emotional triggering bullshit. For me, the most powerful thing you can present to someone is numbers. If you can show that you have facts to back up your point and don’t use emotional appeal on me, congrats, you have earned my respect for your opinion. Now, some things can’t be backed up by cold, hard, facts, but so long as your argument is logical, we won’t have a problem.

Mini rant over, I have watched a lot of videos on depression. TED talks, scishow, vloggers, etc., and I have discovered that the ones who tend to keep emotions in check and even tell personal stories to tug at your heart strings are the ones that are the most effective and pulling a sense of emotion from me. But this video was different, even with the emotional aspect. It did really well in shattering my expectations of what was to come, even as I was thinking “I have seen this all before, this had better get interesting and different quick or else I’m leaving.”, the video managed to shock me with the guy in the background, barely noticeable until he takes his own life, being the focus of the story, instead of the guy we’re shown. Honestly, I resonated with it. it was very true to what depression is actually like.


So I guess you could say this is me announcing to the world that I have clinical depression. Now, I don’t want your babying, I don’t want your dumb-ass comments of “It gets better!” (I know it gets better. If I didn’t think that, you wouldn’t be seeing this right now). or “Just stop being depressed! cheer up!” (you’re an idiot if you think depression works that way, go do some research). Hell, I don’t even want to be coddled, I just want understanding that I’m going to have some shitty days in the future. I’ve come to terms with it, I know life isn’t perfect, but I also know it’s worth it.

Anywho, back to the point: With depression, the best description I can offer is one by Andrew Solomon, whose clarification  is “The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality…”. When depression hits, you feel as if nothing will ever go right, that even things you enjoy like sports or video games or music all seems to have lost it’s luster. Depression feels like somebody took every ounce of motivation and sucked it out of you, and nothing can be enjoyed like you remember. And for lack of better terms, it sucks.

But, the thing that I always try to remember whenever I get to that place and want to end it all, and the thing I try to tell people if I ever hear that they are going through something similar, is that they are loved. That if anything happens, they will be missed. There is no one on this earth who is unloved by someone. Even if you’re not religious in any way, there is always somebody who can look at you and see someone worth caring for, worth missing, worth their time. We are worth something, and even when the thoughts that seem impossible to block tell us we’re worthless, or that we fuck up so many times that there is nothing left to redeem us, the necessity to remember that we are loved is humongous.  That we are not alone.

That we are never alone.

That sometimes, while it may not seem as if anything could go right, there is ALWAYS a light in the darkness.

Final thoughts: If you reader or anyone you know is going through this, a couple things;

  1. Get help from a professional
  2. Find a trustworthy friend to help you through the toughest times
  3. Know that you are not your depression. it is a disease, and like any disease it can be helped.
  4. Learn all you can about it. Links below.

That’s it. I’m going to bed now because it’s 330 in the morning (sorry mom and dad!) and I’m tired. links below for people who want to learn more or need help.

Depression, the secret we share by Andrew Solomon

Why We Choose Suicide by Mark Henick

Depression: What You Need to Know

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Gate A-4

Source: Gate A-4


In today’s lesson, which is another graded assignment (yeah, yeah, get over yourself), we are gonna talk about why rap, specifically gangster rap, is really not my cup of tea. In fact you could even say that I really don’t like it at all. Now, I will completely preface this with the fact that I don’t really know a whole lot about the genre, but the loose research and things of that nature hopefully there might be a little understanding, but it will mostly be personal opinion. Like me, hate me, I really don’t care. Anywho, onto the show.

So what’s bringing this up is actually a conversation that we had in the class about the rap group N.W.A., and I tried (and failed to some extent) to argue about what I didn’t like about rap. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t allowed to listen to rap as a kid, but I never had the exposure and experience with rap as others did. It really wasn’t a genre that I was interested in, even after the ban on the music had lifted. I didn’t enjoy the beat, I didn’t enjoy the speaking style, but I think overall I didn’t enjoy or even like the lyrical content, and that’s really the main point of this post. Why I don’t enjoy rap because of the lyrical content.

Now I know I was born with a certain “head start” if you will, being a middle class, straight, white male. However, with my dad being Navy, I moved like crazy, so my childhood was not the standard in the united states (third culture kids FTW). Classic rock and classic bluegrass was my music drug of choice because it’s what my family listened to, and I enjoyed it. When, however, friends wold play rap for me, the brassiness of the lyrics just threw me off. When you have lyrics from something like KISS that have innuendos (see “Black Diamond”) rather than direct statements of rap artists (see N.W.A. “I Ain’t Tha 1”). with something that direct from a person, it was a bit of a culture shock. And being cultured shocked is hard for me to be, having moved around a lot. I guess that just shows that the biggest shock of all can come from your own country.

Another point that I would like to bring up is the topic of relatabillity. From what little I know about song writing, it is generally hoped that  a song writer writes about what they know and their personal experiences, or of how they overcame certain situations. A lot of modern rock songs deal with being inadequate, depression, love and loss, and even some more political topics such as war and homelessness. Having a dad in the military, having had feelings of loss and inadequacy, I can identify with those. Some of the lyrics are definitely more direct than others, such as The Color Morale’s “Suicide;Stigma”, talking about the taboo surrounding those things, or Five Finger Death Punch and “Wrong Side of Heaven” talking about the mistreatment of veterans in the military when they get home. These songs I can identify with. However, I can’t identify with lyrics dealing with the drug industry, living in the ghetto, being shot at, and all of the themes that perpatrate the gangsta rap industry. They sometimes tell extremely interesting stories of growing up and their experiences there, but I can’t relate with something like that. There’s no common identity there for me to latch onto. Even looking at the little rap that I do listen to deals more with a personal internal struggle (Watsky ft. Kate Nash “Hey Asshole”) than anything else.

So yeah, that’s my “rant”(?) with all of this. I give credit where credit is due to lyricists and songwriters when they deserve it, even if it’s just a changing of a political area or the focus of the public, because they have far more talent than I do. I may not identify with the majority of the rap genre or even enjoy it half the time, but a talented lyricist and talented composers all have a creative get-up-and-go about them, guiding them to writing masterpieces and propelling them into history.

Just don’t expect to listen to it.

10 research tips for finding answers online

As a history major, research is probably one of the biggest pains in the ass (alongside 12 page papers). These were actually fairly helpful.

TED Blog


Before Danielle Thomson was our TED Prize researcher, she wrote trivia for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and spent years finding difficult-to-source info for The Late Show with David Letterman. And she has quickly established herself as our staff secret weapon. When one of us can’t get our hands on a piece of information that we need, we turn to Danielle and — voila! — there it is.

We asked Danielle to share some of her best research tips to help you in those “why can’t I find this?” moments. Here’s what she had to say:

  1. There are no new questions. Have a research question? Trust me, it’s been asked before. Put your exact question into quotations as a search term, and you will find, at the very least, a lead to your answer. Want to find out how much of the ocean has been explored? Type…

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11 Ways To (Sorta) Stay Sane During College Finals

Thought Catalog


1. Breathe. But not in the deep, meditative way that people do when they’re 40 and suddenly have nothing. Simply breathe loudly and inconsistently — so that you’re just enough of a nuisance to everyone else in the quiet section.

2. Tell people about all the coffee you’ve been drinking lately. Even if you don’t receive superior grades, at least you’re a superior person.

3. Find a song that you used to love, but totally forgot about. Use the various tools at your discretion — pandora, finals playlists, and the discography of Kim Carnes — to rediscover an old classic. Remember that the grade you get on your paper will probably depend on where it’s placed in the order of other papers, and whether not he’s already given out too many A minuses.

4. There’s this popular thing called the 80/20 rule, which states “80% of effects come from 20% of causes.”…

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Time and Lessons

So I’m 2 decades old now, and quite a few things have been learned, thanks to the many people in life. I think these things could be helpful to someone lets write them out! However because I’m lazy, let’s bullet these, shall we?:

  • Don’t let what other people think determine how you act. Trust yourself, because you are usually right.
  • Keep moving on the road of life. Eventually, if there are things holding you down, they’ll fall off.
  • Keep God in mind in all you do.
  • Keep others in mind in all you do.
  • Allow time in the day to think.
  • Love others, and take the time to talk with them.
  • Love yourself before you love others.
  • 2 Timothy 2: 23
  • 2 Timothy 2: 24
  • People will piss you off. Understand and live with it.
  • Some people will take the time to hate you. Be kind to those people, there is no reason to be an asshole.
  • Bullies deserve love, forgiveness, and forgetfulness.
  • “The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.”- Relient K
  • Movies are an amazing thing.
  • Music is more amazing.
  • Don’t trust the forecast of precipitation unless it’s over 70%, and even then.
  • If you enjoy something, unless it’s illegal, harmful, or dishonest, keep doing it.
  • Always ask “Why?”. You will never stop searching for knowledge.
  • Read. Dear God, always read!
  • Stephen Moffat is an evil, evil man. On a scale of one to Satan, he falls somewhere between Donald Trump and Prince Humperdink.
  • Time is of the essence, don’t waste it by taking forever on homework.
  • In trouble? Ask, it’s always worth it.
  • And finally, if you don’t know the answer to a question, it is always okay to say “I don’t know.” Admit you don’t know rather than give false information.

I hope you enjoyed this variation on my usual posts (usual in the loosest sense of the word) and that maybe something helped you out. Or not. It’s all up to you. Yes You! the one sitting at the computer while you friends are hanging out. OH! Which reminds me:

  • Keep significant others close, enemies closer, friends even closer, have family by your side, and God helping you from inside your soul.

Keep up the good work guys. Don’t mess up now.


When I was young (like, really young, think first grade) I had a shirt that was dedicated to somebody from my elementary school. on the front was a small picture of the gardens that were dedicated to him, but on the back was a quote from someone. No fancy backdrop, just the quote.

It said “How do you know where you’re going, if you don’t know where you’ve been?”

And out of all the things that I can remember from that point in time, that is the clearest. Why? Why would a phrase so simple be so memorable?  Well, usually when things like that are remembered, it’s usually because of one thing. It just so happens to be true.

When you go through this insane drift called life, a lot of things come at you. Good things, Bad things, things that make you wish it would never change, and things where you just wish you could no longer exist. No matter the thing, the experience that we gain makes us who we are at the moment.

But I also think that it’s important to remember who we were. After all, nobody would be the same without themselves to help them along. it just wouldn’t work. If you forgot all of the lessons that you learned throughout your life, ignored all of the wisdom imparted to you by the idiots and geniuses alike, and tossed aside what you’ve done, you would be, for all intensive purposes, a baby. Innocent, ignorant of what is to come in life. You would never know how to tell a good influence from a bad influence, choose your friends, or stand up for yourself. You would be completely and utterly malleable.

In order to keep this from happening, reflect. Don’t immerse or linger too long, attempt to take an objective point of view on things. keep the scope of things in mind, remember that you are loved by somebody or something always, and understand that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is blameless, so just cause you’ve done something wrong, doesn’t mean others are always goody two shoes (however, people can be perfect, see my post on love for this explanation. shameless plug complete). and remember what Matt Smith said in his final moments of being the doctor; “When you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear.”

Forgotten Worlds

So I’m a little late, but I started writing this on the 7th, and it’s probably already the eighth, so that is my explanation for the time difference.

So while I was messing around on the internet today, I remembered that it was Pearl Harbor day, thanks to a little reminder one of my friends had posted on Facebook. After taking a second to reflect, and having essentially a moment of silence, I began to think:

Why would I have to be reminded of this day?

I’m a history major who loves WW2, and yet I still had to be reminded multiple times throughout the day about what it was. I was shocked at myself. I would never forget 9/11 would I? Would I?

The question to that is simple yet has a fairly deep concept behind it. Time. I can’t really remember 9/11, but I was alive then. I was not alive, however, during the attack on Pearl Harbor. I can easily find people who remember what they were doing and when they heard the news about 9/11, but with PH, it’s a little bit harder. I would have to actively search for someone who was alive and was old enough to remember such a time. And finally, we are bombarded with what is essentially propaganda during the day of 9/11. You see signs such as “Never Forget” or pictures of the attacks on daily channels, news channels, popular channels. However, with PH, It has sunk so far back into our national history that we no longer hang up banners, remembering those that fought for us and died on this awful day. We don’t spend a moment in silence in remembrance of the service members that fought both in the pacific and the European theaters. The most that you will probably find on the subject would be the Smithsonian Channel, the Military History channel, and maybe, maybe, MAYBE, the History Channel (which shouldn’t be called such anymore).

I believe this is what will happen: that eventually, the world of Pearl Harbor and the world of the 9/11 attacks will eventually fade completely, remembered only in history books, a small, humble monument in the harbor, and big, flashy lights in the New York skyline.

If we don’t talk about it.

Keep in mind that the veterans of such a time are dying off. many of those who survived the attack by the Japanese are in their 90’s and 100’s. We need to record their stories as best we can, and continue to remember those who sacrificed for the sake of freedom from oppression.

Now I don’t mean to downplay 9/11. On the contrary, please, remember. But let’s put a little more effort into our older history, or even have the same amount of effort put into remembering the day that will live in infamy. Let us take a moment of personal reflection, and remember.