will's insanity

The Ramblings of a Mad Man

Category: Mentality

Remembering the Gone,Looking Towards the Future

Screw 2016
Welcome 2017

Before we move forward, I think that it’s important that we remember those who inspired us with their talent, whether that’s music or TV or movies. Now, obviously a lot of people won’t be on here, But I’m going to do a majority of my favorites. Here we go:

Alan Rickman: “I do take my work seriously and the way to do that is not to take yourself too seriously.”

Glenn Frey: “We set out to become a band for our time. But sometimes if you do a good-enough job, you become a band for all time.”

Joe Alaskey: “HA! you never catch the rabbit being this heroic!” (From him as Daffy Duck)

Erik Bauersfeld: “It’s a trap!”

Morley Safer: “What does it say about us that people who are considered defective are instinctively caring and compassionate?”

Muhammad Ali: “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”

Anton Yelchin: “I want things to be characters and not me. Why would I want to play me?”

Ralph Stanley: “I’m thankful that I have lived long enough to become a legend, and I hope I deserve it.”

Elie Wiesel: “I have not lost faith in God. I have moments of anger and protest. Sometimes I’ve been closer to him for that reason.”

Kenny Baker: “They don’t always use dwarfs, unfortunately. They shouldn’t be allowed to do that! How dare they do ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and not have dwarfs!”

Gene Wilder (Because I deeply enjoyed his work, he gets four. Get over it): “I never used to believe in fate. I used to think you make your own life, and then you call it fate.”
“All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!”
“The suspense is terrible… I hope it’ll last.”
“What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”

John Glenn: “There is still no cure for the common birthday.”

Carrie Fisher: “I don’t think Christmas is necessarily about things. It’s about being good to one another, it’s about the Christian ethic, it’s about kindness.”

Debbie Reynolds: “I gave it all that I had, and it’s gratifying that others seem to be receiving it so well.”

William Christopher: (an exchange with Col. Potter)

Father Mulcahy: Colonel, an ambulance has turned over in the compound, you better come on the double.

Col. Potter: Anybody hurt?

Father Mulcahy: Well, the driver’s a bit shaken-up, but he’ll be all right.

Col. Potter: No-one else inside?

Father Mulcahy: No.

Col. Potter: Thank God.

Father Mulcahy: I already did.”

These men and women meant so much to us. They inspired our movements, our passions, our humor. They lived in and for the moment of each day of their lives. And, as I am sure many of you are, as you mourn your personal loved ones lost in the absolutely GARBAGE year, remember this: The world continues to turn, God continues to love and comfort you regardless of your beliefs, and your life is worth living just as these people above had. Meet 2017 head on, with a resolve and a determination that could only come from perseverance. Keep your chin up, fight back against the injustice you see, speak up for those who need it, and live life with humor and energy sometimes only found in movies.

Your life is your own. How will you use it?

(For just this point alone, I’m going to post a couple of links to videos you should watch)

Happy new year!




Thoughts pt. 2 or Why I Fear Independence

So this next installment of thoughts from my brain is more personal rather than political. Just a way for me to get some things from out of my head and on to a piece of paper (or in this case, on a computer screen). So anyway, here goes:

I am afraid.

Not of the election, not of a person, not even of this coming school year. No, what I am afraid of is after the year. True independence for me as an adult: bills, insurance, taxes, etc., alongside seminary and other personal conundrums.

You see, I know I’m lucky. I am very aware of the state of my circumstances. I will be able to graduate almost debt free from my undergrad thanks to my dad’s GI bill, and I haven’t had to pay a bill yet in my life. Trust me, having gone into poorer communities and poorer countries, I know how INCREDIBLY lucky I am, and there is nothing anyone can do to convince me otherwise. I am afraid that my lack of experience will be my downfall. That I will have been so used to this that going into the real world will break me down and apart like nothing else can.

I don’t know how to shop for insurance of any kind, I can’t do my own taxes, and I certainly can’t tell you how to find a decent apartment of any kind. In other words, in the real world:

I’m utterly useless.

Now, I can learn these things (and trust me, I intend to) in the future, through finance classes and mistakes and all sorts of experience, but for some reason that doesn’t make me feel any better.

After this year, there will be some HUGE decisions to make, ones that I am terrified to make by myself, but ones that have to be done. I know I’m financially screwed for the rest of my life as being a pastor doesn’t pay that much at all. I also know I’m not alone in this thought. A number of my recently graduated friends from college have expressed similar sentiments, so I’m positive that I’m not alone in anything I say here. I’m 21 years old for crying out loud! If this is the hardest my life gets, then damn, I am the luckiest man alive. If not that, then God must be intensely helping me in so many ways, just like He does everyday.

But I’m still afraid.

I know what is expected of me: to put my fear and my worry into God’s hands and have Him guide me through these next, incredibly stressful, nine months, but still: When you have anxiety as a symptom/cause/co-conspirator of depression, these things bounce around in your head like nobody’s business, and it almost feels like they’re shouting at you for being a failure at basic adulting.

Joshua 1:9 (NRSV) says “I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

This one verse has stuck with me for a long, long time. Mainly because of a VBS song, but still, a long time, and has become a comfort to me in times of such panic. It may not make me completely better, but knowing that I am not by myself in these thoughts among peers and knowing that while right now I’m useless in the real world, I won’t always be. And even though I feel afraid, I know that God is there beside me. Maybe not taking my fear away, but helping me to control and combat it in so many ways. Personal decisions and financial responsibilities be damned, I have a God that won’t let me stray, a family to help support me, a girlfriend who loves me and keeps me sane, and friends to make the journey SO much easier. I may not be useful now, but I’m definitely not hopeless. There’s too much to look forward to in the future and so much to do in the present that fear can’t control me or dictate how I react.

And it sure as hell never will.