1. Breathe. But not in the deep, meditative way that people do when they’re 40 and suddenly have nothing. Simply breathe loudly and inconsistently — so that you’re just enough of a nuisance to everyone else in the quiet section.
2. Tell people about all the coffee you’ve been drinking lately. Even if you don’t receive superior grades, at least you’re a superior person.
3. Find a song that you used to love, but totally forgot about. Use the various tools at your discretion — pandora, finals playlists, and the discography of Kim Carnes — to rediscover an old classic. Remember that the grade you get on your paper will probably depend on where it’s placed in the order of other papers, and whether not he’s already given out too many A minuses.
4. There’s this popular thing called the 80/20 rule, which states “80% of effects come from 20% of causes.”…
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